My Twisted Love Life
Now before I start my love life is non-existent, except for the 2 rejections I’ve received.
Now I have a retarded tendency to like people who don’t like me. (Thus the rejections.) Oh yes, I knowingly pick this people because I know they don’t like me therefore making the outcome of my feelings completely visible. I am afraid of getting hurt or falling into some deep dark pit where all I can do is be obsessed with my ‘boyfriend’. This are things I’ve witnessed first hand and honestly it’s quite and ugly scene. I don’t want to be like that which is why I think I choose boys who are well unattainable. (Now my self confidence isn’t the best so I assume no one would like me.)
So the newest guy I like, I talked to him after he had been in hospital and we talked for a while and it was nice but then I ruined it. We both are pretty weird. But I struggle with self loathing, and anger. But I pretty much told him I want to hurt myself and other people but at the same time I’m too afraid too. Therefore too much information. Also I’m pretty sure I scared that boy shitless of me. Even though he is acting cool, I’m pretty sure I scared him. Therefore making him another unattainable. Which made me realize I like him.
Ugh I think I’m emotionally retarded. Anyone have any advice?